Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
