no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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