I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
