Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
