fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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