you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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