This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
