grandma shit on top of the toilet
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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