By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
