I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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