What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
