so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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