I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
