After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize