a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
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I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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