if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
