if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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