How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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