Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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