Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
