I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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