My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
