I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think my mom watched the whole time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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