She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
