I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
