Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
