I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
