Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
