U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
