he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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