I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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