you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
