I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
