what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
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sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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