we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
