I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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