Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
my poor anus
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
