Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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