So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
