I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
