your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize