He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
