Pants 0. Shit 1.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
