But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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