U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
