Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
