I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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