You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
