I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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