the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
