Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
