All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
