The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
