Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
