My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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