How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
