Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
