this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
