finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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