My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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