They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
