i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Two words: blizzard sex
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
