Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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